Leadership Lessons

When we think about leadership, we often think about how to encourage other people to follow a leader.  Isn’t this the children’s game of “Follow the Leader? Choose a leader and then everyone follows them. However, this simplistic view overlooks the complexities of effective leadership. In reality, some people are not great leaders and people following them will suffer in some way or another.  

We want leaders who are successful but also connected to the needs of the people working with and for them. There are so many books on leadership that we could spend all year reading but still not become better leaders ourselves. And there are so many different ideas about being better leaders, where does one begin?

Dr Murray Bowen developed family systems theory as a way of understanding human functioning. In his efforts he observed how humans operated in a hospital facility, and directly observed families as he worked on his theory. He went on to observe families outside of hospital and studied how humans operate in a group and later discovered this transferred to workplaces and other places such as church groups, schools, organisations, and group environments.  

The concepts of Bowen Family Systems Theory help us to understand what we need to do to focus on being better leaders. Recently I have been thinking about the application of Family Systems Theory to business which offers a unique lens through which we can understand and improve leadership dynamics. The person who emerges as the leader in a group will be the one who is doing some work on themselves. They will be noticing their own triggers better, they will be working on steadying themselves better and dealing with the issue directly as it arises, instead of gossiping, getting people on their side, or talking about people behind their backs. We all do this, because we are all human, but recognising it and working on it helps us to grow into being a better leader.

When we do work on ourselves, we get emotionally stronger and better at being clearer about the kind of leader we want to be. I was thinking about what I look for in a leader…someone who is comfortable with who they are and okay with who you are as themselves. This helps me to be my authentic self with others. Being a leader with principles and acting according to them is also appealing and gives me something to strive for in myself. Good leaders can be themselves but are also able to connect well with others. They can also work out when they are being over responsible for others and focus on their own responsibilities. As well as being open in how they communicate so as there can be a give and take of ideas. 

What do you look for in a leader?

References:

Gilbert, R., 1992. Extraordinary relationships. John Wiley & Sons

Smith, K., 2019. Everything Isn’t Terrible: Conquer Your Insecurities, Interrupt Your Anxiety, and Finally Calm Down. Hachette UK.